Cold With the Darkness

a Blake's 7 filk by Alara Rogers

tune: "I Am Stretched on Your Grave" by Sinead O'Connor

I am cold with the darkness of a soul that's all but dead
Ice around my heart, and a fever in my head
I came for you to save me, but now instead
I stand over your body, and the floor is turning red

Well, I never admitted you meant anything to me
For you were a fool, and I wanted to be free
Of your Cause, and of your friendship-- but after you left
All against my expectations, I found myself bereft

Well, I never admitted I was looking for you
I always explained it was some logical thing to do
When we met, it'd be on my terms-- I'd not follow your rule
For though I might need you, I still thought you a fool

Well, I never admitted how my failures raked my soul
Though I started to believe I needed you to keep me whole
My cold and diamond brilliance, your knowledge of trust
Without both gifts united, everything would turn to dust

Well, I'd never admit I was a failure to you
I could not find you till I'd won at something, too
Until something succeeded, I could not bear your gaze
So I put off the search for you for weeks and months and days

Till I finally realized that I could no longer wait
If I put it off much longer, it might end up too late
So I finally went to meet you-- and what did I find
But the final betrayal, shattering my damaged mind

I am cold with the darkness of a soul that's lost and dead
Ice around my heart and dark clouds inside my head
I came for you to save me, but now instead
I stand over your body, and the world is turning red